Wednesday, 13 August 2014

// Grow like trees //

"Are we ever ready, for anything?"

"You can't control the situation you're in, all you can do is react to it as openly and as honestly as you possibly can."

"I haven't worked on myself. I 'm not comfortable with being alone."

"You can still work on yourself and love someone else. In fact, all the best relationships are where you work on yourselves together."

"Evaluate where you're at when moments happen, and make decisions then. You don't have to lay down blanket rules for yourself. Just live in the moment."

Oh man, I've put off this post for a while till the point I forgot the problem I was faced with at that time... and as always, life has brought on new problems for me to struggle with. However, I feel that any situation I am faced with, relates back to the point of constantly working on myself.

Addressing the first issue, I feel frustrated when I see someone I love not being the best they can be because I know they are so much more than that. It hurts and angers me when they themselves cannot see beyond the desire to give into the always-easier option: giving up. Not fully giving up but giving up on doing things to the best of their abilities. This is the problem with the world today. People have developed the mentality that less is better; easier is the way to go. Following this decision to put yourself in the backseat, especially when presented with daunting/unfavourable situations, just brings on the vicious cycle of never progressing and never knowing how to push yourself.

Evaluating myself, I feel that I have become a much less patient and understanding person. There's always two stands a person can take when they care for someone:

1. They allow their loved ones to act as they please because they want to accept them for who they are
2. They take on a firmer stand to help their loved ones become better versions of themselves

I've always heard both approaches in separate situations, and how you must achieve both to ensure a healthy relationship. However, don't the two stands contradict one another? This is probably one of the biggest struggles I am faced with at the moment, and from long ago. (I guess as I am writing this post I also feel like I am conversing with God, letting him know my troubles.)

Writing this with slight frustration, I become even more frustrated with myself for hardening my heart. I was never like this, never blinded by anger and jealousy.

I promise myself from now on to "not let the world make (me) hard", "not let the pain make (me) hate". I want to remember again what it felt like to be forgiving and trusting and loving, not to be stuck in this miserable place where I torment myself with ugly imaginations and hurtful thoughts.

On to issue number two, I do not know what is going on inside this stupid brain of mine. Jaime, don't give into what you think is better/greater/cooler. Nothing is worse than losing him. Do anything stupid and you will regret it. He does care for you, it's just that sometimes people don't express emotions the way you want them too. Give people a chance, they're not born or programmed to please you, they're on this planet to live the life they were given.