"Are we ever ready, for anything?"
"You can't control the situation you're in,
all you can do is react to it as openly and as honestly as you possibly
can."
"I haven't worked on myself. I 'm not
comfortable with being alone."
"You can still work on yourself and love
someone else. In fact, all the best relationships are where you work on
yourselves together."
"Evaluate where you're at when moments
happen, and make decisions then. You don't have to lay down blanket rules for
yourself. Just live in the moment."
Oh man, I've put off this post for a while till
the point I forgot the problem I was faced with at that time... and as always,
life has brought on new problems for me to struggle with. However, I feel that
any situation I am faced with, relates back to the point of constantly working
on myself.
Addressing the first issue, I feel frustrated
when I see someone I love not being the best they can be because I know they
are so much more than that. It hurts and angers me when they themselves cannot
see beyond the desire to give into the always-easier option: giving up. Not
fully giving up but giving up on doing things to the best of their abilities.
This is the problem with the world today. People have developed the mentality
that less is better; easier is the way to go. Following this decision to put
yourself in the backseat, especially when presented with daunting/unfavourable
situations, just brings on the vicious cycle of never progressing and never
knowing how to push yourself.
Evaluating myself, I feel that I have become a
much less patient and understanding person. There's always two stands a person
can take when they care for someone:
1. They allow their loved ones to act as they
please because they want to accept them for who they are
2. They take on a firmer stand to help their
loved ones become better versions of themselves
I've always heard both approaches in separate
situations, and how you must achieve both to ensure a healthy relationship.
However, don't the two stands contradict one another? This is probably one of
the biggest struggles I am faced with at the moment, and from long ago. (I
guess as I am writing this post I also feel like I am conversing with God,
letting him know my troubles.)
Writing this with slight frustration, I become even
more frustrated with myself for hardening my heart. I was never like this,
never blinded by anger and jealousy.
I promise myself from now on to "not let
the world make (me) hard", "not let the pain make (me) hate". I
want to remember again what it felt like to be forgiving and trusting and
loving, not to be stuck in this miserable place where I torment myself with
ugly imaginations and hurtful thoughts.
On to issue number two, I do not know what is
going on inside this stupid brain of mine. Jaime, don't give into what you
think is better/greater/cooler. Nothing is worse than losing him. Do anything
stupid and you will regret it. He does care for you, it's just that sometimes
people don't express emotions the way you want them too. Give people a chance,
they're not born or programmed to please you, they're on this planet to live
the life they were given.