Wednesday, 9 July 2014

Insecurity

Self-help time! Haha, so yesterday night I was feeling a little uneasy (which has been the case most of the time) and I really just wanted to do something to help myself. Plus, Google really does come in handy for many useful things :-) So I've come to the realisation (for sure, now) that I am, an insecure person. I also am a very emotional person. However, I do not see these as my flaws but rather something which makes me me and a part of myself which I want to become stronger in. I just want to make this post so that whenever I am feeling anxious or insecure, I can come back to it and know how to deal with the situation.


P.S. I found these tips online and I find them really helpful (tweaked them a bit)! The link will be down below :-)


1. Don't make assumptions
    - Do not let bad communication turn into mind reading
    - If someone says one thing, don’t assume they mean something else
    - If someone says nothing at all, don’t assume their silence has some hidden, negative 
     connotation
    - Do not let other people mind read you too: say what you mean and mean what you say
    - Do not expect other people to know the unknowable
    - Respect their right to privacy and do not conclude anything without their consent

2. Stop looking for perfection

    - There are no “perfect people”, just different flavours of imperfect ones
    - Do not base people on your ideals
    - No one can always give you what you want

3. Stop inventing problems that don't exist

    - Creating problems in your mind and believing it is self-sabotage
    - Ups and downs are normal
    - Distinguish between your non-existent worries and the truth
    - Take deep breaths
    - Tell yourself, “This problem I’m concerned with only exists in my mind.”

4. Don't focus on the negatives

    - Happiness grows in direct proportion to acceptance
    - Happiness grows in inverse proportion to intolerance and expectations
    - Accept and deal with the imperfections to make them ideal
    - Do not constantly look for signs of what’s not working, but for what is working
    - Acknowledge how amazing the people in your life are
    - Always appreciate them:
      • Promote their strong qualities
      • Cheer for their victories
      • Encourage their goals and ambitions
      • Challenge them to be the best they can be

5. Seek self- reassurance

    - Do not always look to another person for assurance, but get into the habit of reassuring 
       yourself
    - Challenge your own fears and imaginings rather than just accepting them
    - Ask yourself: "What real evidence is there for this fear?"

6. Build self-esteem

    - Do not let yourself revolve around relationship or it will become an unhealthy obsession
    - Partake in activities you enjoy without your partner sometimes
   - The more you learn to live your life to the fullest, the more you’ll learn to be confident about yourself and your worth
    - Be happy with yourself: go for a run, get your dream body, wear good clothes
    - Develop hobbies and skills to constantly improve yourself

7. Trust

    - We are all human and it is natural to admire people, but that does not make another any less faithful
    - Know that your partner never wants to hurt you, so offer them your faith in return
    - Be dependable to let others know they can rely on you

















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